Come on guys, where are all the jokes ? Are we all so depressed that our humour gland has atrophied ? Lets have some more from some of you comedians out there. You know who I'm referring to....
Jokes And Funny Stories
Started by
curlylegend
, Apr 08 2023 09:03 pm
15 replies to this topic
#1
curlylegend
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 321 posts
Carpe Addict
- Location:West of France, south of the Loire...the good bit !
- TDM model: 1991
Posted 08 April 2023 - 09:03 pm
#2
Favs
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 4,415 posts
Sir Cumference
- Location:County Durham
- TDM model: 2008
Posted 09 April 2023 - 11:39 am
I was addicted to the Hokey Cokey but I turned myself around.
Nice out - I'll not bother with the coat.............
Single-handedly reviving the Wave.
2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS
#3
curlylegend
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 321 posts
Carpe Addict
- Location:West of France, south of the Loire...the good bit !
- TDM model: 1991
Posted 09 April 2023 - 09:15 pm
Thanks Favs, keep them coming !
#4
Johnners
-
- Member
-
- 120 posts
Carpe Regular
- TDM model: 2007
Posted 12 April 2023 - 07:29 pm
A man walks 8nto a bar and says 'ouch'
#5
Studley Ramrod
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 19,272 posts
Monkey Boys Monkey
- Location:HELLO ! I'm in the Library...Notts
- TDM model: 1993
Posted 23 April 2023 - 02:28 pm
I was addicted to the Hokey Cokey but I turned myself around.
Nice out - I'll not bother with the coat.............
Mk2a 2000 in Silver. Top end Refurb @ 41100 miles, Scottoiler, Renthal Road High Bars, Up & Back Bar Risers, Bellypan, DL650 Handguards, Capt. Picard Bar Ends, House of Henty SS Wheel spacers, New Seat Cover Fitted. 58 MPG !! Now owned by chrisbee ! Studley's mk2a Bloggerydoodaah ! Photos of my first MK1 Photos of my MK2a TPLQHCSRSFC No. 1 Fan
#6
Robodene
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 1,531 posts
Robodene
- Location:Mid Bucks
- TDM model: no more
Posted 23 April 2023 - 05:54 pm
Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man... and his secretary. (Barry Humphries, RIP)
#7
Favs
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 4,415 posts
Sir Cumference
- Location:County Durham
- TDM model: 2008
Posted 25 April 2023 - 05:45 pm
What time do Spurs Kick Off?
Me: Every five minutes......
Single-handedly reviving the Wave.
2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS
#8
ChrisG
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 8,277 posts
Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 26 April 2023 - 08:47 am
My wife's worried about me falling when doing DIY, so she bought me a step by step guide to using ladders safely.
She also says I never get round to doing the DIY jobs I promised. I finally rewired the kitchen at the weekend. She was shocked.
I've been teaching her some DIY too, yesterdays lesson was how to join wood. She nailed it.
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now 
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#9
Snowbird
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 1,402 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 26 April 2023 - 04:23 pm
One for the scousers....
IMG_1365.thumb.png.608d6419a15086f3e873b36d6cca4c8b.png 207.35KB
0 downloads
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#10
ChrisG
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 8,277 posts
Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 26 April 2023 - 04:55 pm
My wife asked to me to go to the supermarket and buy a cucumber, a courgette and an aubergine.
I bought some vaseline as well because I didn't want the checkout girl to think I was a vegan.
I bought some vaseline as well because I didn't want the checkout girl to think I was a vegan.
Edited by ChrisG, 26 April 2023 - 05:04 pm.
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#11
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,200 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 26 April 2023 - 05:37 pm
Lolzio
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#12
ChrisG
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 8,277 posts
Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 05 May 2023 - 07:15 am
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#13
ChrisG
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 8,277 posts
Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 07 May 2023 - 09:07 am
When I was younger I once did 3 marathons back to back.
Sadly old age catches up with all of us and I can only manage one snickers now.
Sadly old age catches up with all of us and I can only manage one snickers now.
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#14
ChrisG
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 8,277 posts
Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 07 May 2023 - 09:56 am
<repost>
Edited by ChrisG, 07 May 2023 - 09:56 am.
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#15
Snowbird
-
- Supporting Member(thanks)
-
- 1,402 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 13 July 2023 - 10:28 pm
Hands trembling with excitement, I checked the numbers again and again ...
09-15 -21-07-23
OMG! Was it true?
My heart was pounding, I could hardly breath!
I was in total shock!
After all this time - I'd finally got a doctors appointment!
09-15 -21-07-23
OMG! Was it true?
My heart was pounding, I could hardly breath!
I was in total shock!
After all this time - I'd finally got a doctors appointment!
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#16
dapleb
-
- Root Admin(A)
-
- 18,200 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 14 July 2023 - 04:33 am
Lolzio. Tragic yet amusing
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users
