A Mexican magician said he will disappear on the count of three. .
He says "Uno, dos... " POOF.
He disappeared without a tres.
It's A Joke
Started by
dapleb
, Mar 04 2022 07:21 pm
440 replies to this topic
#41
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 21 March 2022 - 09:22 am
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#42
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 22 March 2022 - 11:30 am
What happens if someone slaps you at high frequency?
It hertz!
It hertz!
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#43
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,400 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 22 March 2022 - 11:50 am
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#44
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,197 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 23 March 2022 - 11:53 am
I got tired of being judged for going bald so I went out and bought a wig....
It's a small price toupee!!
It's a small price toupee!!
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#45
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,400 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 23 March 2022 - 12:08 pm
I got hit by a flying power drill, I was happily minding my own business, then Bosch!
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#46
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,197 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 24 March 2022 - 09:20 am
Once upon a time there was a king who was only 12 inches tall.
He was a terrible king but made a great ruler.
He was a terrible king but made a great ruler.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#47
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,197 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 25 March 2022 - 08:23 am
It's really unfortunate that Islam, Judaism and Christianity have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus on the other hand have never had any beef.
Hindus on the other hand have never had any beef.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#48
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,400 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 25 March 2022 - 08:54 am
We all know what an indian summer means but what about an iraqi summer?
Partly sunni but mostly shiite.
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#49
Studley Ramrod
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- Root Admin(A)
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Monkey Boys Monkey
- Location:HELLO ! I'm in the Library...Notts
- TDM model: 1993
Posted 25 March 2022 - 01:45 pm
Mk2a 2000 in Silver. Top end Refurb @ 41100 miles, Scottoiler, Renthal Road High Bars, Up & Back Bar Risers, Bellypan, DL650 Handguards, Capt. Picard Bar Ends, House of Henty SS Wheel spacers, New Seat Cover Fitted. 58 MPG !! Now owned by chrisbee ! Studley's mk2a Bloggerydoodaah ! Photos of my first MK1 Photos of my MK2a TPLQHCSRSFC No. 1 Fan
#50
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,197 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 26 March 2022 - 07:50 am
I bought 75% of shares in a vampire hunting business.
I am the main stakeholder.
I am the main stakeholder.
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#51
ChrisG
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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Resident vulture
- Location:Netherlands
- TDM model: 2009
Posted 28 March 2022 - 07:44 am
I was going to post a joke about aircraft but I think it would go over your heads.
1992 Mk1, 76k miles, Hagon springs, MTC exhaust, 4½ gears Gone now 
2009 900 abs, 42k miles, Yamaha heated grips, double bubble screen, R&G crash bungs, scottoiler, Autocom, 1500 lumen LED spotlights.
#52
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,197 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 28 March 2022 - 08:57 am
I got a vasectomy because I didn't want kids.... But when I came home they were still there!
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#53
AliG
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- Member
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- 1,454 posts
has been here 4ever
- Location:Galicia, Spain
- TDM model: 2010
Posted 28 March 2022 - 10:38 am
I got a vasectomy because I didn't want kids.... But when I came home they were still there!
2004 900 - Blue with lots of goodies
2012 900 - Still adding shiny bits. Was black, changed to white and now back to black again.
#54
dablik
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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Master Intermediate Fettlin' Award 2018
- Location:Bootleshire
- TDM model: 1992
Posted 28 March 2022 - 11:30 am
Bigred mk1 R1 Calipers- Braided lines- Givi wing rack-Crash bungs- Hi vis bullets-PR2's- and a hoot to ride.
Quad 900 Silver Laser duo tech pipes-Scott oiler-Engine crash bars- Radiator mounted see me ring LED's-Datatool system 3 alarm -Centre stand- Extender fender-Renthal bars-Handle bar risers-Mirror extenders-BMW GS Handgaurds-Acumen uprated horn & Nautilus-Stainless steel Radiator guard-Givi wing rack-OEM screen-Yammy touring screen-MRA Vario-MRA Double bubble cut down for fast as fk riding-Tiger screen-Tank protector-Stomp grip panels-Optimate lead Gone to Heaven 
1991 MK1 in need of some TLC watch this space Gone to Heaven 
Sorted and on the Road Mick 
it's the bike that Jack built 
#55
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,400 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 28 March 2022 - 11:45 am
I got a vasectomy because I didn't want kids.... But when I came home they were still there!
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#56
dapleb
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 18,197 posts
Monkey Boy
- Location:The home of morris dancin
- TDM model: 1990
Posted 29 March 2022 - 06:36 am
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday.
She said "nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring".
So I bought her nothing!
She said "nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring".
So I bought her nothing!
"Whats up", "Piston Broke", "Yeah me too...hic"
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
If you want to mark your location on the Carpe map: http://www.carpe-tdm...opic.php?t=5117
Doin valve clearances? Use dappers valve shim exchange program and the job will be carroty - Free (other than you postin me yer shims) for sporting members.
Active member of TPLQHCSRSFC and TSRMCMAS (even though a year off) and avid fan of PM not sent.
#57
Favs
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 4,414 posts
Sir Cumference
- Location:County Durham
- TDM model: 2008
Posted 30 March 2022 - 09:43 am
Son: Dad, can you explain dark humour to me?
Dad: You see that man over there with no hands, go ask him to clap.
Son: But dad, you know I’m blind.
Edited by Favs, 30 March 2022 - 09:44 am.
Single-handedly reviving the Wave.
2008 reg. Black TDM 900 ABS
#58
Snowbird
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 1,400 posts
Just won't go.
- Location:Often on another planet, but mostly south Cambs. (St.Neots)
- TDM model: 2000
Posted 30 March 2022 - 11:06 am
An old man was sitting in a private box at Liverpool with an empty seat next to him! A young fan saw the empty seat and said to him. "Who on earth has paid for this expensive seat but not turned up! they must be mad, do you mind if I sit here?" The old man sadly looked up and said. "For 35yrs me and my darling wife have sat together and watched every game, but unfortunately she has passed away so was unable to come, so you can gladly take her place if you like." The young man thanked him for his kind generosity and sat beside the old man. The young man turned to him and said. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but as sad as your story is, I have to ask, have you not got any relatives, like a son or grandchild or nephew that you could have brought along with you?" The old man said. "Yes I have, but they've all gone to her funeral."
Current toys: '99 XT600E, 2000 4TX, '82 Princess 30DS (where the username comes from), No longer a '03 Fazer thou.
Save the planet, it's the only one with beer!
#59
dablik
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- Supporting Member(thanks)
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- 10,817 posts
Master Intermediate Fettlin' Award 2018
- Location:Bootleshire
- TDM model: 1992
Posted 30 March 2022 - 03:02 pm
Bigred mk1 R1 Calipers- Braided lines- Givi wing rack-Crash bungs- Hi vis bullets-PR2's- and a hoot to ride.
Quad 900 Silver Laser duo tech pipes-Scott oiler-Engine crash bars- Radiator mounted see me ring LED's-Datatool system 3 alarm -Centre stand- Extender fender-Renthal bars-Handle bar risers-Mirror extenders-BMW GS Handgaurds-Acumen uprated horn & Nautilus-Stainless steel Radiator guard-Givi wing rack-OEM screen-Yammy touring screen-MRA Vario-MRA Double bubble cut down for fast as fk riding-Tiger screen-Tank protector-Stomp grip panels-Optimate lead Gone to Heaven
1991 MK1 in need of some TLC watch this space Gone to Heaven Sorted and on the Road Mick it's the bike that Jack built
#60
Studley Ramrod
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- Root Admin(A)
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- 19,268 posts
Monkey Boys Monkey
- Location:HELLO ! I'm in the Library...Notts
- TDM model: 1993
Posted 30 March 2022 - 04:15 pm
Mk2a 2000 in Silver. Top end Refurb @ 41100 miles, Scottoiler, Renthal Road High Bars, Up & Back Bar Risers, Bellypan, DL650 Handguards, Capt. Picard Bar Ends, House of Henty SS Wheel spacers, New Seat Cover Fitted. 58 MPG !! Now owned by chrisbee ! Studley's mk2a Bloggerydoodaah ! Photos of my first MK1 Photos of my MK2a TPLQHCSRSFC No. 1 Fan
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